All Hail the Release of New Moon!

Attention all Twilight... haters. As you may or may not know, the second movie in the series in out tonight. And in honor of that I have collected these un-tributes for those of us who suffer from Bile Fascination caused by this book series.

Having read the first three books in the series, I am informed enough to know that this series is garbage. Jacob Black was a great character. Edward Cullen was a Mary Sue. This book has in me the strange effect that I've already mentioned, Bile Fascination. Follow the link for more info.

And here are the un-tributes. I'll explain my own feeling about Twilight after the tributes.

The Emo Vampire Song
Edward Cullen meets Sherlock Holmes
Buffy the Vampire Slayer vs. Edward Cullen
Edward Cullen meets Dracula

I've told you a bit about my opinion of Twilight before, and now I think it ruined an entire genre of monsters. One day at the library I decided to check out the first book, and it was a somewhat decent book. The only problem was Edward, who except for the fact he wanted to kill was Bella, was perfect in every other way. Then there was New Moon, which do to Jacob Black, was fantastic. Jacob is a very cool character.

Then there was Eclipse, and for me that's where everything went sour. Edward comes back to Forks (It really is a darn shame the Volturi didn't kill him) and immediately tries to keep Bella from seeing Jacob anymore, because he claims young werewolves are dangerous. (And vampires aren't?) The irony in the whole situation is that in New Moon, Bella was liable to be killed by an evil vampire who was after her. Guess who prevented that? Yeah, the aforementioned 'dangerous werewolves.' So while Edward was in Florida being a self-made martyr, Jacob was keeping Bella from being killed. How's that for irony?

I can't wait to read Breaking Dawn. Yes, I do plan to read it someday. Enjoy the movie. As for me, I'll wait for the parody.

- T.A.R.N.S.

Nancy Drew Manga series: Book #8 - My Review

I was at the local library today when I noticed a book I hadn't seen before: a volume a the Nancy Drew manga. I'd heard about this, but never seen one, so I decided to check it out.

First, this is an "American Manga", which is a slightly redundant term. This is shorter than your average Japanese manga, and done in full color. Graphic novel, by the way, is nothing more than a different term for 'manga.'

Now, for the record, this is just based on the Nancy Drew books, and really isn't anything like those books. They tell you this write on the cover. I was still disappointed, though. This book is so littered with environmentalism it's not funny. Tokyo Mew Mew gave up by volume four and became a well loved kemonomimi shojo heroine manga, but if volume eight and the previews for volumes 9, 10, and 11 are any indication, this whole series is littered with it, and the author and illustrator make no point to be subtle about it, blatantly changing everything that wouldn't find the new cares-about-the-environment Nancy Drew.

At least the movie had the decency to leave some things alone; Nancy drove a convertible both in the original series and the movie, but in this manga, she drives a "smart little hybrid".

Even if I ignore the obvious, blatant environment worshipping, the plot was weak. I figured out who the villain was by the time I began the first page of chapter 3. (it's not like it was really that hard to figure out, I was suspicious by the middle of chapter two. And wouldn't you know, I was right.) Plus, this book was printed in China. This stuns me the most, because the translated Japanese mangas I read are printed in the United States.

If you're considering buying this book, my advice is: don't. I give this book one and a half out of five stars, and strongly recommend you skip this whole series and read the original Nancy Drew mystery books.

And the same company that makes these books want to give the Hardy Boys and Zorro a makeover, too. Heaven help us.