How a Bill REALLY Becomes Law

[A/N: Another old one, this one from March 2010. So if you remember all the garbage the Democrats were up to last year (and who doesn't?) then you'll know the context that this post was set in.]

I found this on IMAO the other day, and thought this was priceless. I've written out the lyrics as best as I can for people who might have trouble hearing the words over the music.




It seems like any punk bill can get through this capital joint up here in Washington
Well I wonder who that bad (mo-po) scrap of paper is

I'm just a bill, yo I'm only a bill
and spending me will be a mad thrill
For all them politicians sitting pretty
it won't take long to force me through committee
Then I'll be here to stay, you'll be taxed and pay against your will
But today I'm still just a bill.

Yo!

Gee, bill, you certainly don't give a crap about the American people.

Naw, nor do politicians.
When I started, I wasn't even a bill. I was just a bad idea.
Some peeps in the hood, they wanted that creepy hand coming out of the ground to stop
So they hollered at their local congressman, and he said,
"The hand stays, and you're gonna pay for it."
Then he sat down and wrote me up and he sent me to Congress
And I became a bill no one wants,
And I'll remain a bill no one wants until they force me through as a law no one wants

I'm just a bill, yo I'm only a bill
And my price just rose in a backroom deal
Soon they'll force me through committee with no delay
The head Congressman witholds debate
And they'll hide how I became a law
Then I'll be here to stay, you'll be taxed and pay against your will
But today I'm still just a bill. Yow!

Just listen to them speaking in Chinese, Bill. Is all that China stuff about you?

Oh, sure, I'm a spending bill. They ain't.
So when I'm passed, we'll owe all our debt to foreigners
And you'll pay back the debt, Tommy, before you die.

Die?!

Word! Debt before you die.
Woah! Look's like you're in trouble Tommy
To the House! And my girl Pelosi's up in there!

When they vote yes, what happens?

Then off to the Senate, where my boy Reid's at.

Oh snap!

Oh snap!

I'm just a bill, yo I'm only a bill
and I'm pushin' debt to $14 tril'

The White House won't even bat an eye
To pass me with other mad expensive bills to sign
When he signs me I'll become a law
You'll be taxed and pay against your will
But today I'm still just a bill
Yo!

So even if the whole Congress says you should be a law, the president can still say no?

But he won't, so you get debt! Don't you get it?
This isn't what they teach you in school. This is D.C., baby.
Passin' laws with other people's dough.

So I won't have any more money, bill?

No! You'll be taxed and pay against your will
But today I'm still just a bill.

It worked bill! He signed you, and now you're a law.
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Enough said.